


I’ll say I learned my lesson (I’ll be a better man)

by BlueishSugar2288



Series: The fabulous adventures of a force ghost [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Jedi Apprentice Series - Jude Watson & Dave Wolverton, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Anakin Skywalker Doesn't Turn to the Dark Side, Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Angst, F/M, Force Ghost Anakin Skywalker, Force Ghost Qui-Gon Jinn, Force Ghosts, Human Disaster Anakin Skywalker, Qui-Gon Jinn is dramatic, Tahl has no time for anyones shit, Tahl is so Done, That’s who, anakin has strong feelings about vader, and eventually he gets one, because right now be must brood, but not yet, but then it turned kinda angsty, everyone is confused, it was crack, kind of?, not me, she's just done in general, so who knows anymore?, they aren't positive, with anakin, with him, with the state of the galaxy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-22 23:53:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23002402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueishSugar2288/pseuds/BlueishSugar2288
Summary: Anakin Skywalker, 23 years old, Jedi Knight, General of the 501st, the hero with no fear himself, was not happy. He was, in fact, the furthest he could possibly be from happy.He had, in the last twenty four hours witnessed some of the worst things which could have possibly happened, including (but not limited to); the death of literally all the jedi apart from Obi-Wan, Ashoka, Vos, and that one kid who always asked questions, his men march on the temple, his wife being strangled, his brother cut off his three remaining limbs (which was frankly unnecessary, why is it so hard to stab him through the chest? Even decapitation would be better), the death of his wife, the birth of his twin children, which was probably the best thing he’d witnessed all day, but would be significantly better if aforementioned twin children were not then immediately split up.Oh, and to make it even better, the republic became a new sith empire, and to top it all off, he became a force ghost, and apparently took all his morals with him, seeing as his body became a sith apprentice with a breathing problem.So no, Anakin Skywalker was most definitely not happy.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker/Padme Amidala, Qui-Gon Jinn & Anakin Skywalker, Qui-Gon Jinn & Tahl, Qui-Gon Jinn & Tahl & Anakin Skywalker
Series: The fabulous adventures of a force ghost [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1654240
Comments: 3
Kudos: 51





	I’ll say I learned my lesson (I’ll be a better man)

**Author's Note:**

> Title from If I killed someone for you by Alec Benjamin.

Anakin Skywalker, 23 years old, Jedi Knight, General of the 501st, the hero with no fear himself, was not happy. He was, in fact, the furthest he could possibly be from happy. He had, in the last twenty four hours witnessed some of the worst things which could have possibly happened, including (but not limited to); the death of literally all the jedi apart from Obi-Wan, Ashoka, Vos, the annoying troll itself, and that one kid who always asked questions, his men march on the temple, his wife being strangled, his brother cut off his three remaining limbs (which was frankly unnecessary, why is it so hard to stab him through the chest? Even decapitation would be better), the death of his wife, the birth of his twin children, which was probably the best thing he’d witnessed all day, but would be significantly better if aforementioned twin children were not then immediately split up.

Oh, and to make it even better, the republic became a new sith empire, and to top it all off, he became a force ghost, and apparently took all his morals with him, seeing as his body became a sith apprentice with a breathing problem.

So no, Anakin Skywalker was not happy. Not even close.

He turned to the figure of Qui-Gon Jinn, who was unmistakably himself, though the older Jedi was younger than he’d ever seen him, and was looking at him serenely as if there was not a problem in the galaxy, which was rather stupid, seeing as the (admittedly flawed and corrupt) Republic had just turned into a Sith Empire.

“What can I do?” He asked, probably a bit harsher than he should have. He waved his hands around, in a gesture which could be interpreted as him gesturing himself, but also could have been interpreted as him reenacting the mating dance of some bizarre creature native to Felucia. “Now that I’m… blue.” He didn’t say dead, because as much as he hated to admit it, he wasn’t dead, not properly. His body was still functioning, twisted and evil and nothing like him, but still functioning. 

Qui-Gon shrugged. “You can watch.” He offered. Anakin gave him an unimpressed look, much to the amusement of a tall Noorian woman with gold and green eyes, who’d been watching the exchange. 

“The galaxy just turned into a sith empire.” He enunciated slowly. “Do you think that I’m going to watch?” Not waiting for Qui-Gons reply, he continued, “there’s got to be _a_ way to appear, mustn't there? You’ve done it, I’ve seen you - you were watching Obi-Wan, with her.” He gestured towards the Noorian woman.

“Obi-Wan didn’t notice.” Qui-Gon said firmly. “Because usually, jedi can only see force ghosts when they are immersed in the force. Nobody will be immersed in the force but Palpatine and his apprentice, and somehow I doubt that you want to be seen by him.”

“Not answering the question.” He pointed out through gritted teeth. Was Qui-Gon always this frustrating, or was his nine year old self so caught up in his state of hero-worship that he hadn’t noticed? 

“You just need to focus on where you want to appear.” The Noorian woman spoke. Qui-Gon turned to her, utterly betrayed. She continued on unaffected, “Oh, and how you want to appear. If you wanted, you could appear as you were when you were a padawan, hideous haircut and all.”

“ _Tahl_.”

“He wants to do it, Qui. Let him. Don’t say that you, Qui-Gon ‘live in the moment, padawan, and make sure to annoy the council as much as you can whilst doing it’ Jinn is advocating against a bit of youthful rebellion against the instructions of a Jedi Master?” She argued back. Anakin heard her, but elected to ignore them in favour of following the instructions of a Jedi Master for once in his life, but was met with a rather important part of it he’d overlooked.

Where did he want to appear? Who did he want to see? What was most important for him?

He knew, almost before he thought about it, what it was that was most important to him. Padmé and his children. But which to choose?

“Her memorial takes place soon, Skywalker.” The Noorian woman - Tahl, her name was Tahl - said softly, jolting him out of his haze. When he turned to her, there was no judgement in her eyes, just compassion and understanding. “Obi and Organa will keep them safe. Go see her off, one last time.”

And so, Anakin did.

* * *

It seemed as if the entire city had turned out to say goodbye to their old Queen. Stone-faced people lined the streets in black and grey, trying desperately to spot the procession making its way through the streets. Children too young to understand what was happening (like the younglings at the temple, his mind hissed, like the ones you killed. How confused were they? How terrified were they? How much did they scream?) stood in silence.

At the end of the procession, Boss Nass and Jar-Jar were trapsising along in that loopy way the gungans often did (though they did look a lot less like they were doing death sticks at the funeral, which Anakin appreciated), the governor who’d been on Padmé’s council so long ago (what was his name? Bibble? Babble?) in front of them with Typho. Then there was Queen Apailana, respondent in silver and purple, shining like the stars peaking through the twilight sky. Two of her handmaidens stood behind her, grave in their black velvet gowns and hoods. Then there was the Naberries, Ryoo Thule at the back, then Jobal and Ruwee, followed by Sola, her husband, and little Pooja and Ryoo. The girls looked as if they didn’t quite know what was happening, wondering why Aunt Padmé was so still. Padmé’s handmaidens circled her coffin, the two who had been with her since the beginning - Sabé and Eirtaé - closest to her head.

And then, at the front of the procession, there was Padmé. Her hair was fanned out and sprinkled with flowers, and her gown looked like water. Her stomach had been changed, to make it appear that she was still pregnant. To avoid Vader or Sidious knowing about the twins, he supposed. She looked like an angel, and with the japor snippet held between her hands, Anakin could almost believe she was just sleeping.

He could almost believe that it hadn’t been him who’d done this to her, that it hadn’t been him who put her in dangerous situations, time and time again. 

But then he remembered seeing that twisted, perverted version of himself with his hand outstretched, and he was forced back to reality, a reality he was twenty three years old and a force ghost.

Padmé was dead.

The Jedi were dead.

His men had been doomed to a fate worse than death.

The Republic was destroyed, a new sith empire rising from its ashes like some awful dark Phoenix.

Obi-Wan had been forced into exile, to rot away wherever it was he would end up going.

And it was _all his fault_.

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is inspired by the plot bunny that Madraa mentioned in the end notes of Chapter Two of their book Deviation, 10/10 would recommend. 
> 
> Tahl is kinda canon, kinda not (she shows up in Jedi Apprentice, which... let’s be honest, it’s a fucking trainwreck), she’s blind, a badass, and Qui-Gon’s (girlfriend, she’s his girlfriend) friend. 
> 
> Also, it’s my personal HC that Jedi can usually only see force ghosts if they are A) obscenely strong, B) if the force ghosts decide to show up because fuck it, dramatic effect is needed, or C) they are immersed in the force, for meditation or some bs like that idk.


End file.
